Constructive Summer

It's just hit me -- I go back to school soon. Now is the time of the summer spent scared and frustrated: figuring out student loans, waiving student health insurance coverage, figuring out which text books I need. Summer has gone by way too fast.

I leave for Boston on Wednesday. I haven't been there since I was a freshman in college and my last trip was a disastrous one -- a last ditch attempt to salvage a long dead relationship, whole days spent locked in a hotel room crying, staring at my own scared, sad face in the mirror. I'm pretty sure that this trip will be a lot better.

Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I miss Oxford. I miss the immediacy of it all, of having everyone right there. Being home involves so much work: phone calls, driving, disappointment. It's easier to walk out of my door and knock on Shiree's, to walk down the hall and see if Mike and Susan are home. I know that things will be different next year, but I'm hoping they'll be manageable. I hope, almost more than anything else, that they are quick. I want next year to be in and out.

I need to buy a day planner. Maybe I'll do that in Boston? It seems like the sort of thing I would like to spend too much money on at Black Ink.

Lately I feel tired all the time. I have to fight to stay awake past ten or eleven, shift my position, run my hands through my hair, rub my eyes. Simply sitting upright shouldn't have to be so complicated but I guess, sometimes, it is.